FAM
So after 2 years and 3 different kinds of birth control pills, I'm done. I can't handle all the extra hormones in my body and their oh so lovely side effects. I've gained weight, lost my libido, have constant migraine headaches, nausea, and mood swings; I'm a peach let me tell you. So last night after talking to my husband about it we/I have decided it was time to stop. I went out and purchased this book. I'm about 50 pages in and am a little worried. Not only can we not have sex on my period (yes I realize that you can but we make a choice not to--it just grosses both of us out) but we have to use protection/ not have sex for the 8-10 days that I could get pregnant. We've never used protection and I'm not too excited about it. Should I just stick it out with the birth control and be miserable for the next 2+ years until we're ready to have kids or should I try the FAM (Fertility Awareness Method) and risk getting pregnant? I have to note that I do not want kids anytime soon. I love them and am excited for when we're ready. But want to wait quite awhile until we have some of our own. Have any of you been in this situation? I've tried to talk to my OBGYN about it but all they want to do is switch my birth control. I'm so worried and upset and unhappy with my own body. I have no idea what to do. Any advice is greatly appreciated.
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Your OB/GYN won't be thrilled about you using FAM because (1) she won't know a lot about it because it's "natural" and (2) she won't trust you to do it correctly.
If you follow the program correctly, you should be fine. I used the book and method after I gained 50 lbs on the Pill. It was a rough go at first because my cycles were really irregular and anovulatory for a couple of months as I came off the Pill.
I stayed not pregnant for 13 months using FAM and then got pregnant the first cycle we tried. I've also continued to stay pregnancy -free since I started menstruating again about 5 1/2 months post partum (my daughter is now 13 months old).
If you use FAM correctly and you trust yourself as you get to know your body and your cervical fluid, you should be fine. It will take a few months to regulate, to get used to, and to figure out how to read your fluid, but you can do it. And you shouldn't feel guilty if you're not comfortable have sex during your fertile days. You can do other things besides intercourse. I would also recommend that you have your husband read the book so that you're not alone in the process, and so that he can understand what's going on, and that when you say you're not comfortable having sex, he knows why.
I just wanted to add that condoms arent that bad...In fact, if you buy the right kind you'll hardly notice a difference. I actually prefer condoms because then there's no aftermath mess to clean up. (Try Trojan super thin)
I have used FAM both to prevent pregnancy and to get pregnant, and it has worked wonderfully for both. I find that the periods of abstinence (with occasional protected sex) actually made sex better for my husband and I. I tend to want relations less often than my husband, but having to wait for so long made me want it more. So when we did have sex it was better than it was when I was on BC. Good luck with whatever you decide.
And a new flash for ya, I have all those symptoms you describe without being on birth control, women are crazy period. And I second the notion that condoms are great with no mess. If you really don't want kids, you'll find you'll do whatever is necessary.
I couldn't do hormonal birth control either. It was AWFUL. So I switched the copper wire IUD. It's amazing. I absolutely love it. My cramps are back, but it's a small price to pay for more stable moods (which aren't the most stable to being with anyways!). I can't say enough good things for it.
As far as protection, condoms are not bad. In fact, even though I'm on the IUD, we still use them every time. We get really thin ones from condomdepot.com and we both prefer condoms to none. Easier clean up, my husband lasts longer, less irritation to my canal. I've used spermicide before and I'm not crazy about it because it is MESSY.
Good luck! I've been there and it's NOT fun.
I felt the same way you did. I was sick of birth control, so my husband and I decided do to the natural method. We wouldn't have sex, or we would use protection on the days that I ovulated. It worked great for over a year, until one September we weren't careful and conceived our baby.
I totally agree with you on birth control. It sucks so bad! But I'm on it right now because I don't want to risk having a baby. The natural rhythm worked great, but for me, in order to do it, I have to be OK with the idea of having a baby because it could easily happen. If I know I do not want a baby anytime soon, I do birth control.
I agree with what has been said, and if you are too scared to try FAM, use the copper IUD.
As Jane Doe said, most OB/GYN's are really thrilled with the method. If you decide to move forward with it, I suggest using a condom for the first 3-5 months or so until you feel confident in understanding your cycle. (This is what I did.) It takes a little trial and error with your basal temp, cervical fluid, etc... Just be ultra safe until you feel ready to try it.
I love the FAM method and I'll never go back to the pill. Good luck!
11:25 has a good point about a condom trial period as you get used to FAM. For several months (especially while you're coming off the Pill and are still very irregular), it's probably safest to use a condom all the time, whether or not you think it's a fertile day. Also, as you establish your body's pattern, you may notice that you don't actually need to use a condom every time you have sex prior to ovulation. For example, I have a long cycle. I don't ovulate until about day 20. So if my husband and I have sex on day 10, we usually don't use a condom. You may find that you have shorter cycles, which will mean a shorter fertile period, which means longer without a condom (yay!). Get to know your body. It may be the best thing you ever do for it.
With all the positive reviews, let me just burst people's bubbles a little.
FAM is a good option for couples who are highly motivated and highly disciplined. It requires charting, writing things down, keeping records, etc. And it even requires communication. Before there's any sexual intercourse, both partners need to know whether a condom will be used or not. If both partners are not fully committed and careful to discipline themselves to follow the program, it is bound to fail.
Absolutely 1:39! That's probably the biggest reason why the husband ought to also read the book.
The big problem with FAM is if your body gets irregular, you never know when you're gonna ovulate.
Look into IUD's.
I used an IUD and I LOVED it. It's a five year thing that they insert and you don't have to worry about anything. I even stopped having periods. Best thing that if you want to get pregnant before the five years you just go in and they remove it, real quick and none of it hurts. I had mine taken out after 2 1/2 years and got pregnant in a month. It's called Mirena. and if you don't like your doctor I would suggest finding a new one that will listen to what you have to say and help you!
@depo victim...
I think perhaps you're thinking of the Rhythm Method, which is not the same thing as FAM. The Rhythm Method has you track how long your cycles are, count backward 14 days, and figure that that's when you're going to ovulate. FAM teaches you to read your body's signals each and every month, and while you won't know exactly when you're going to ovulate, you will know when you are fertile, regular or not. It's actually a really great natural method for women who have irregular cycles.
Have you thought about just loosening up a bit? You sound a little uptight about this stuff, I'm not trying to be rude, it just seemed like you were stressed and uptight from the tone of your post. Maybe you should just relax and enjoy sex and just use condoms and lube and spermicide most of the time OR just make sure he doesn't finish inside of you, you know?
949 - I hope you're not suggesting she use the pull out method for birth control.
I second the copper IUD! It's fantastic! It's like nothing's even there. No side effects. Nothing. I've had it for 3 years. Absolutely love it.
OP here. Thanks for all your suggestions! I think I've decided to just stay on birth control. Although it makes me miserable, the FAM system makes me nervous. It's just too easy to slip up. IUDs are another option that I will look into more. Again, thanks for all the help/ suggestions!
OP, you mentioned that you've never even tried condoms. It seems silly to stay on birth control, which you hate, when you can just use condoms, which are cheap, easy to use, easy to clean up, and feel great. I agree that you shouldn't go for the FAM method, but PLEASE - try condoms!
No offense, but your husband is a pretty selfish guy if he doesn't see your struggles and insist that you go off the pill.
condoms really aren't horrifying. we use them every time, and I am on birth control but we do not want a baby at all right now..
try Crown skin less skin...they are AMAZING! cant even feel them.
I'm surprised no on mentioned the nuva-ring. It's a little plastic ring that you insert kind of like a tampon - think jelly braclet - (you can't feel it) for 3 weeks, then take it out for 1 and have your period. The pill makes me sick too, this has less hormones. If it seems expensive you can try Costco pharmacy, you don't have to be a member to get prescriptions there.
Good luck!
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