I am in need of some advice, so here's my story. My sister and I have been planning a trip to a semi local theme park. Then along the way, I decided that I should invited my husband, being the kind wife I am. J/K. Anyways so it was going to be my sister and her little girl and my family. Then comes along my mom, she wanted to go, so I said that would be okay. Not thinking that it would be a problem. Well then of course she wants to bring her husband, again okay, I really figured if she was coming then he was. Just today, she took it upon herself to invite my younger sister and husband and my brother to come. When I told my husband he got really upset and mad saying "since when did this become her trip to plan and invite people to come." He told me that now he doesn't want to go and the rest of the family can go by themselves. This was never really just "our" family trip, being as it started with my sister and I planning it. I think that everyone wants to go, that is fine, really we don't need to spend all day together at the park and hang out. So it should be all good, right?
Here is my dilemma, I don't want to punish my kids and not go because my husband is mad that my mom is taking over. Also I am not one to confront people, especially my mom. So what do I do? Do I talk to my mom and ask her not to plan or invite anyone else? I really can't invite my other siblings, can I? Or do I just try to talk my husband into being okay with the way that it is and go and be happy? I really just don't know what to do! HELP!
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16 comments:
It sounds like your husband is being a pansy... Why can't you all go together? It is just one day, right? This seems silly to me.
I think your husband just needs to buck up and look on the bright side of things...it might be fun for everyone to go as a family!
Your hubby needs to get over it! How silly to make such a big deal out of something that is supposed to be fun. Let him stay home and wallow in self-pity.
I totally understand your husband feeling the way he does, but unfortunately that's just part of being married and having in-laws. No matter how annoying it is, this kind of thing is going to happen all the time, with his family too - not just yours. I would let your husband know you're on his side (so it doesn't become a "taking sides" situation) and you think it's just as lame as he does, but just explain that you don't think it's fair for your kids to miss out just because the situation turned into something other than what you'd planned on. I feel for you - I hate this type of situation.
Your husband needs to get over it. You don't have to stay together the whole time. If you really have a need to only have a certain amount of people invited than maybe next time don't tell anyone.
Tell your husband to grow up, seriously is he 5? Thats what moms do, especially since she saw it was you and your sister already, she wanted all "her" kids to go, wouldn't you as a mom? Go anyway, with or with out him, he is the one missing out on his own kids having a fun day.
Does your husband own the amusement park, or is a public park? Anyone can go. He needs to put on his big boy pants and take one for the team.
Once he gets there, it will be fun. Don't let him ruin your day and especially your kids' day.
I can understand his attitude if it was you two planning it from the beginning but it was you and your sis. So he just needs to relax and go with the flow.
I wouldn't talk to your mom about it this time. Maybe next time you invite her to something tell her it's just going to be you and her or whoever.
I would go regardless of what your husband thinks. This is still a fun trip that you planned and it's fun for you to go and enjoy it with your kids and family. There was nothing set in stone that your mom couldn't invite people. She's just trying to make the best out of it and it sounds like your hubby is annoyed and he shouldn't be. If he wanted a trip with JUST you, then he should have let you know when you were planning things. Would it be different if it was his family and this happened?
I just went through the same thing with my mom. My husband and I planned a trip to Disneyland and we invited my parents, well, 1 week before we were leaving 2 of my brothers family decided to go too. Which would have been fine, but one of my brothers doesn't really have the money to spend on it. They also wanted to all ride together. Now, my husband and I really enjoy our space and don't like people to pay for anything for us. But with my other brothers going my parents would end up paying for pretty much everything. It all worked out ok. We just did our own thing that the park and met up occasionally for a ride and went together to dinner. But my husband was the same way. he complained a lot at first but then i cracked. and told him to suck it up for a weekend, i do it for him with his family all the time! Good luck!
Sounds like everyone is in agreement, it is just for a day or whatever it is and it's not going to kill your husband to go with everyone, AND unless your mom usually takes over on planning others plans...I would not say anything to her. Enjoy the party it's turned into, and pat yourself on the back for planning such a fun outing that everyone wanted to join in on it!
I think you guys should just relax and go and have a good time and not worry about anyone else that is there. Drive just you guys and your kids, so you leave and arrive when you want to. Go on rides you want to go on together, have a really good time. Meet up with your family as it is convenient throughout the day, but the point is to just make it about fun. Your husband shouldn't exclude himself because he is upset, he should say f**k it and go to the park to have a fun day with his wife and kids. He needs to really just try to relax. Tell him you'll give him a blow job in the morning before you leave to make it extra fun for just him or something, you know, whatever he likes most, so that he can start his day off right..and then go from there.
I mean, that's what I would do if it were me and my husband...because I don't care if he is being a baby, or not, at this point, you know? I just want him to go with the rest of us and have as good a time as possible, regardless of who's right or who's at fault.
MMC
EVERYONE GET OVER IT! GO AND HAVE A GOOD TIME!!!!
My vote is to just talk to your mom and let her know what your original plan was, and what your intentions are (staying together as a big group, or just your family, etc) If it's a really big park, chances are you wouldn't even know they were there. Maybe your hubby had a bad day and that just didn't help. See if he has any bright ideas. I personally hate being in a huge group, and hate it even more if no one has a plan, someone has to be in charge and have a plan.
My vote is to just talk to your mom and let her know what your original plan was, and what your intentions are (staying together as a big group, or just your family, etc) If it's a really big park, chances are you wouldn't even know they were there. Maybe your hubby had a bad day and that just didn't help. See if he has any bright ideas. I personally hate being in a huge group, and hate it even more if no one has a plan, someone has to be in charge and have a plan.
i totally disagree with everyone on here. If he doesn't want to go, and I don't blame him, then fine. He is an adult and is allowed to not go if he doesn't want to, it's one of the perks of being an adult and making your own decisions. You don't have to say anything to your family other than, he decided against it. As far as your mom, i would say something, but be tactful. If you continue to let her take over it will continue to happen with other events.
to all the comments of "letting it go" and "going with the flow" : silence is acceptance and for those of us who have opinions and don't like to be mowed over, that doesn't work. it's fine to say something rather than get frustrated at every family event.
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