I am seriously curious about something...

I am truely and honestly curious to know what people think about this.

Mormons believe that (as a Mormon) you are blessed and receive blessings as a result from praying, being faithful to the Lord, paying tithing, serving, etc.

My husband and I left the Church a year ago, and have been nothing BUT fortunate in every aspect of our lives, including financially, ever since. We do not believe in God whatsoever. We're not religious... we don't even believe in Christ.

Mormons tend to preach and believe that when something good happens that it was because they prayed, or were faithful. If they were "blessed" financially, it's because they paid their tithing. And vice versa, they DO these things so they WILL be blessed. "Pay our tithing so we're blessed. Pray so we'll receive blessings. Pray so such and such will go our way". Whether or not Mormons are fortunate is a case by case situation. But, non Mormons have good things happen to them JUST AS MUCH! Why pay your tithing, pray, and serve Church callings if others are "blessed" for not doing them just the same?

I SERIOUSLY WANT TO KNOW.... how do you explain this?

Name for a Business

Yes its ME again! We are opening a massage therapy business in Orem in April or May and asked for name ideas on here. We had some great names and Solace seemed to be the one... only when we went to register it, the name was already taken by another business (BUMMER!) Anyway, we are back to looking for great name ideas from you! What would you call your massage business????

Anybody not gained alot of weight during pregnancy?

Ok, so I am pregnant with my 4th child and this pregnancy was NOT expected. I have a 1 year old and have still not lost all of my baby weight from her. On average I gained around 30 lbs per-pregnancy. I had a friend who only gained 14 lbs! My babies health comes first obviously, so please NOBODY lecture about that. I am really going to try to limit this weight gain as much as I possibly can and my question is, have any of you ever gained less than the normal 20-40 lbs? If you haven't please don't comment about something else I've said, I just want to know if you or anyone you know has been able to limit their weight gain.

Permanent Make Up

There was a post a week or so ago about Breast Implants which brings me to this question. What are your thoughts on permanent make up for LDS members? Whether its eyeliner, eye brows, lips, etc. Do you consider this going against the churches beliefs?

Illegal Immigrants

I am wondering what your feelings are on illegal immigrants.

To give you a little background: My parents immigrated from Croatia when I was 2 and they spend YEARS doing everything the RIGHT way. Meaning they spent years working hard to gain citizenship. They taught me from an early age to have a deep appreciation and respect for the United States. We, as a family, feel incredibly blessed to live in this country. We want others to have the same opportunity we did. However, we want them to do it the legal and official way.

Our mutual feelings are that those who illegally come here (GENERALLY SPEAKING) take advantage of the system, don't appreciate the blessings of living here, and end up causing more problems for those who are citizens.

Please know that I am speaking GENERALLY about the subject, and that I realize there are many exceptions to what I just stated. I just feel this way about the general MASS of illegal immigrants

What are your thoughts/experiences?

Still waiting

I'm pregnant and still waiting for that "pregnancy glow." I know that your body is changing and there are increased hormones, but what I'm going through is ridiculous. I've never had any major trouble with zits/acne, and from the day I got a pink line I've had a constant uncontrollable acne. Everything from blackheads to underground zits to the big suckers that look like they'd pop on their own if the wind picked up. I couldn't stand it anymore and finally succumbed purchased CLINQUE face care system for $50. I wash, cleanse, and moisturized my face twice a day for weeks and still no change.
Does anyone have any suggestions? I need help and have noticed that the acne is SO bad I'm starting to scar on my chin and forehead. PLEASE HELP!

Blog etiquette

I realize this is a bit petty, but I have a question about blog "etiquette." I have a few friends who have, over the past year, removed my name and link from their blog list. This is fine, it doesn't hurt my feelings, but I do wonder why they have removed me. If I'm removed, is it expected that I remove them from my list?
Have any of you removed someone? If so why?

(P.S. There were absolutely no fights/reasons as to why they removed me. I actually have zero contact with them except through blogging and the occasional email.)

Blog Books

I noticed someone asked this question a few months ago. Where do you go to print your blog into a book. Alot of comments were for Blurb.com. Maybe it is just me but I can't get that site to work, it even says they do not support blogger. Has anyone found another site to work great? I really want to print mine it has been over a year, so I would like to print it and start off this year and print it next year and on and on....

ATTN: Hairdressers, Beauticians, anyone that knows anything about coloring hair

Ok, I am in dire need of hair help. Here is the situation:

Two days ago I had my hair highlighted. I have brown hair and I had bleach put it. It was very subtle and very sparse. But, I didn't love it and decided I wanted all over brown and a little darker than my natural because I have done this before. Well, the girl put a level 6N in my hair and now the crown and right at the roots, it is RED! If you're standing 10 feet away from me, you can't really tell but it does look auburn. I have gone dark multiple times and this has never happened! Please help! What do I do? Go back a third time? Do I need a level 6 still but an ash color? My main question is: can this be fixed??? My husband doesn't like it and that's so hard. I've got to have something done immediately. HELP.

The Chronicles of Narnia and new book ideas

I am an avid reader and since I have read every book in my home... I have decided to read the Chronicles of Narnia. My question for those who have read it is which order should I read them in?

Should I read them in the order in which they were written and originally published, with the Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe being first, followed by Prince Caspian?

Or should I read them in the order in which they are are NOW being published? Starting with the Magician's Nephew?

How much difference does it make in the telling of the stories?


ALSO...I fly through books so fast...I need some new ones. Can anyone recommend some great books? I've read Harry Potter, Twilight, and LOTR as far as series go. I just finished up a great non-fiction book that had a hint of LDS spirituality to it...anyway I need some new stuff!

PLEASE: I DO NOT WANT ANYTHING POLITICAL OR SUPER RELIGIOUS.
I don't care about Obama or why you hate Mormons or Catholic Priest scandals..

Give me something entertaining.
Thanks friends!

Update/Need some support

Hi all,
I'm the one who posted Trying to Conceive in December. Read it here. I got some really great advice and have followed it all. No luck yet and the reason I'm posting is that I just need some uplifting thoughts from you out there. My husband and I haven't really told anyone, and it's hard to not feel discouraged. I know it will happen when it's supposed to, I just need something to help me feel better. Thank you!

DH

What does DH stand for? I am sorry, but I just cant figure it out.

For LDS members...Would you ever say NO?

I am just wondering, as LDS members, what your thoughts are about saying no to a calling. I understand reasons like family trouble, close ones passing away, health issues, etc. but have you ever just said no because you didn't want to do a certain calling. I am more specifically wondering about big callings like RS presidency, Young Womens presidency, Elders Quorum presidency, maybe even bishopric, etc. I understand that most of the time you are called to a position because someone has been prompted that you should be there but what if you are just called because no one else will take that position? What if you really aren't skilled at music or patient enough with children to take a calling that involves that? What are your thoughts?

Husbands who play video games

I read the comments on an earlier post and wondered if any of your husband's (guys can answer for themselves) play video games?  If so, how often/much?  What are your feelings about it? Do you ever play yourself? 

No agenda here.  My DH plays the Wii probably 2 times a month for a couple hours at a time.  He says he feels like he missed the generation that really used them as entertainment, but that they're fun.  I don't mind when he plays, but I think that if he did it more often, it would irritate me.  Despite the new, more interactive games, I think I still think of them as something to be played by kids.   And there definitely is a "zoning out" when he plays.  I'll play the American Tour for the Wii but thats about it. 

Bad Smell

So, my Husband and I just moved into this cute little old house that we are renting for super cheap so that we can save some money, and we love the house and location.... its perfect! BUT.... there is one thing about the house that I am having a hard time getting over.... it has a certain smell to it. It doesn't bug my husband as much as it does me (I am embarrased to have people over and I worry that our stuff is going to start smelling that way) and I have tried a couple things to get rid of the smell. I spray febreeze all over as soon as I get home, I have a scentsy candle going in one room, and I just got a lysol automatic sprayer thing a week ago. None of it has seemed to help. Its almost a smoke smell, like the previous renters were smokers. I plan on washing down the walls this weekend and changing the air filters so i'm hoping that that helps. Does anyone have any tips or tricks to getting rid of a stubborn smell like that? It just bugs me because it isn't like I don't keep stuff clean (in fact, i'm somewhat of a clean freak) but I can't get the house to SMELL clean and that is one of my favorite things about a clean house, is a clean smelling house. Anyway, any help on this would be much appreciated!!

stress relief

What is your favorite stress-reliever? When you have had a really rough day or a really hard week, what is the one thing that can relax you and help you calm down and feel better?

I need some serious stress relief.

Potty Train Drain

I have been trying to potty train my 3 year old for 2 months. I feel like I've tried everything. If he's in underwear, he'll tell me he's wet if he has an accident but wont tell me he needs to go. I can put him on the toilet and he'll sit there for ages without going. He'll go sometimes, but it's hit and miss. I've tried every 1/2 hour to every 2 hours and everything in between. He has his own small kid potty and the insert to the big toilet. I've tried pull-ups, diapers, standing and sitting to pee, rewards, cookies, putting cheerios and fruit loops in the toilet, phone calls to grandma, putting him on the toilet as soon as he wakes up and before going to bed, prizes... you name it, I think I've tried it. I am at the end of my rope. Is he just not ready? Am I doing something wrong? Is there a trick I've overlooked? Can you come train my kid for me? What do I do? Have you heard of the 3 day method? What is that and does it work?

I know there have been questions about this before, but I didn't really find much helpful there. How did you do it?

a little help from you would be nice..

So my husband and I don't have any kids yet. I work all day, every weekday. I have a pretty high-stress job and it wears me out (mentally). My husband goes to school 2 days a week and works about 20-30 hours a week (thats when he works a Saturday, which is once or twice a month). I am the sole provider for our little family. I pay the rent, insurance, phone bills, have my own car payment, buy the groceries, pay my student loan, etc....and he makes enough per month to take care of his own car payment and credit card.

I don't mind working, really. I like it. I enjoy my job, even though it makes me crazy some days. It's interesting work and I learn TONS every day. Here's my problem...

Housework gets put on the back burner. Our place seems to clutter quickly and easily.. Seriously the only time I get to REALLY clean my house is on Saturdays IF I don't have somewhere to be! (baby shower, primary activity, TEMPLE, wedding, funeral, family stuff, you know!) So by the time I get home from work and get dinner made, I DO NOT have anything left in me. I am ready for a bath and bed.

On days he has class, he goes to class (gets out at about 12:30), goes to the gym and plays tennis until 3:00 or 3:30, and then goes home and when I get home at about 5:30 he is playing video games. No laundry has been done, no dishes have been washed, theres a mess of food on the counter and coffee table (from him), he hasn't even THOUGHT about dinner until I walk in....the list goes on and on. And there he is...sitting on the couch! I work my BUNS OFF to put him through school and pay our bills, and still come up short sometimes. Thus is life, I know, but...

HOW THE CRAP can I get it through his head that I need his help? I CANNOT do it all on my own! I wonder if he just doesn't realize that. I am embarassed to let anyone in our home during the week until I can dedicate an entire Saturday to clean it up.

I love my darling husband so very much, but this is driving me crazy!!!

What do I do?

Being criticized for Weight (underweight)

I just read the last post about being criticized for being overweight. What about underweight. I have always been 132. It works for my frame and looks healthy. I would never consider myself to ever having a high metabolism and always tried to eat 1200 calories to prevent weight gain. THEN I got pregnant and my metabolism shot through the roof and even after the baby, and even after nursing, my metabolism has stayed really high............and therefore my weight has dropped to 122 pounds. I even got as low as 118 and I HATED it, because I was worried people would think I was starving myself or had low-self esteem. I've worked really hard trying NOT to do cardio and only lifting weights for exercise and tryin to eat more. I've been able to get to 122, but no more. I feel ok at 122, not TOO thin.......................but on occasion people will notice my weight loss and say things like, "Are you trying to lose weight, dear (in a real critical tone)" or "Are you eating?". It makes me want to scream, because yes I eat a LOT and purposely don't exercise too much so I dont burn too many calories.
I would never go to somebody else and say "Geez, you look like you've put on some weight". It is just as hurtful to criticize somebody on the other end of the spectrum.
I'm not trying to sound like, "oh poor me. I can't gain weight" because I know most people struggle to LOSE, but I want to know if there is anybody out there who is experiencing the same thing. What did or do you do to gain weight? Do you get negative comments? Do you let those comments bother you?

Follow up to Obesity

I asked the obesity/word of wisdom question. Thankyou so much for your responses. When I originally asked the question, I purposely left out details about myself so that the responses would be unbiased. Well, I am overweight and definitely on the verge of obesity. No it is not because of health reasons or because I just had a baby, but because I think I am obsessed with food. I think about food all the time. I do exercise, but not enough to compensate for my large portions of food.
I truly believe that I am NOT following the word of wisdom. I feel guilty about my addiction, and food makes me feel better, but that just keeps the cycle going. I think one of the commenters was correct. It isn't food that is bad (no we don't need to go locking up junk food at the grocery stores), but rather it is the ADDICTION to anything that is wrong. The church talks so much about the don'ts, but I wish, for my sake, they would talk more about the DO's. We are taught to take care of our bodies. We should exercise regularly. We should eat heathly. The church will always counsel us to do whatever we can to increase our longevity. So if overeating can shorten your life, then YES, that would be sinning.
I asked this question because I wonder when people look at my overweight,almost obese, figure, do they see me as a sinner. Well I do. I do not feel righteous when I let food consume my thoughts and I hope to overcome it. I'm trying very hard to overcome it.

Should I take the test?

So I am 9 days late on my period... I think. Lately, my first day of my period is basically just light spotting and then my second and third days are super heavy, then I'm really light through to day 7, 8 or 9. (Yes, my period is very long.) I'm also almost always about 2 to 3 days late. Even when I was on the ring I was 2 or 3 days late, sometimes more.
Well, on time would've been the 15th, a Sunday. On Friday, the 20th, I went to the bathroom and little bit of blood came out so I figured I was starting and put a tampon in. When I took it out that night it was nearly empty. I put one in for about 6 hours on Saturday--nothing. Sunday I decided to wait until I started bleeding before putting one in and nothing ever happened. Yesterday when I went to the restroom, there was blood again so I put a tampon on. I left it in for about 6 hours and when I took it out it had more than Friday, but still 70% empty. This morning I just put one in--just in case; I hate running to the bathroom at every little sensation!!--but when I took the applicator out there was absolutely no blood on it! Grrr!
I also randomly got nauseaus twice yesterday. I'm not prone to nausea. Right now my stomach is feeling a little upset.
I shouldn't be pregnant. I'm on the non-hormonal IUD and we use condoms every time. Statistically it's impossible, but I've heard of women getting pregnant using 3 forms! I don't want to go buy an expensive pregnancy test just to have it say negative! But I don't want to keep working out as hard as I do and eating sushi if I'm pregnant, you know?
So should I wait and see if I skip this month entirely and then take the test? Should I take it now? What test do you trust the most? Thanks!

The things they don't tell you

I'm hoping to glean helpful information from all of you who have been through childbirth. I'm due April 2nd, and am starting to feel a lot of anixety over labor and childbirth.

I grew up with all boys, and don't have a lot of women in my life to support/prepare me for childbirth. I am TERRIFIED of the epidural. It's my biggest "mental" challege. I was wondering if any of you could give me straighforward facts/experiences that you wish you had known for your first time. I guess all the things they don't tell you are the things I want to know.

Are you honest on this blog?

I'm wondering . . . do you make comments on this blog that you would make in person? If you had to have your picture and email attached, would you say the same comments? Some of the mean comments I read on here I can't imagine saying (or typing). I wonder if the people who post are that way when they are NOT anonymous. Are you true to yourself on this blog?

Endometriosis (a "down there" question)

Have any of you women had problems with Endometriosis? I was I guess..."diagnosed" with it when I was like 12, and I am now almost 22. I went through hormone therapy tons of shots when i was about 15 and got rid of the "spots" that were all over my ovaries and tubes...and I have been pretty great since then..up until recently. I have now had irregular periods and SERIOUS cramping like last time. I have seen my doctor and spoken with him about this.

My first question is what helped YOU with the pain? It is unlike anything I've ever experienced. I have been taken to the ER because of it. It's that bad.

Here's my reason for this post...

When I had this stuff going on before, in high school, I was not sexually active. I am now married, so obviously...sex is an issue. One side effect of Endometriosis-when it is making itself known (and for MOST women) is painful intercourse. For about a month and a half now, sex has been just utterly PAINFUL for me. My muscles down there seem to just seize up and it starts to BURN inside, among other things. The past few times we have done it.. I just do it long enough for my husband to "go" and then we stop because I can't take the pain.
I feel bad for him because I think he feels cut off...we have been doing it like once every 9-10 days because the thought of it makes me cringe. Not normal for us.

How can I help him to understand that it's not a lack of interest in him or in sex...it just HURTS?!

How do I break the news?

I am wondering what to do... My parents keep awkwardly asking me when I will be having more children. I have one- who is almost 3. My husband and I have mutually and happily decided to not having any more. The reason why it's awkward when they ask, is because it's when we are chatting on the phone, like catching up. And last night we were all web-caming and they kept asking my 3 year old when mommy would be having another baby, or when is she getting a brother... and then she was drawing them pictures (of myself, my husband and her), like stick figures, and my mom kept saying to draw mommy with a baby in her tummy. It would just be extremely awkward to say right then "we're not having any more babies". Ya know? We also don't talk that often, so when we do talk, there is a lot of catching up to do.

So, what would you do? I was thinking of calling her up tonight specifically for the reason to tell her that we're done having kids. I also want to call her on the phone instead of doing it in an email so if she had any questions, I could just answer them. For some reason, I just think it will be hard on her. Does this sound like a good plan?

Pregnant Sister

I just found out that my sister is pregnant. She is 19-years old and unmarried. I have heard that the father of the baby wants to marry her and I think she will marry him.

We were raised to wait until marriage to have sex. I am sad that she chose otherwise. She hasn't announced her marriage/pregnancy to me yet (I've just heard through other family members). My question is, how should I react when she tells me?

Of course I love her and always will and I actually really like her boyfriend. I would have no problem if she wanted to marry him. I'm just sad that things are happening out of order (in my opinion) and that she's pregnant.

She obviously knows I won't be happy with the choices she's made. I have no idea if she regrets her actions of if she has just decided that waiting until marriage for sex wasn't for her. I feel like when she tells me the news, I won't be able to be really excited (at least initially) because I'm still getting over the shock of this and if I acted that way, I wouldn't be being true to myself and I'm sure she'd sense I was putting on an act. At the same time, I don't want to lecture her or make her feel bad about what has happened. I don't think that's my place at the present moment.

Have any of you been in a similar situation? Have you gotten pregnant out of wedlock and had reactions that were (or were not) helpful? Do you know someone who got pregnant when you didn't approve? How did you handle it?

I'm not meaning for this to be a debate about getting pregnant before marriage. Rather, I would love to hear how to approach this situation so my sister can still feel my love and support, even though I am at the same time heartsick and sad about this.

How many times?

What do you think is the average number of times a couple has sex in a week? How often do you and your spouse have sex (in a week)?

I ask because I think twice a week is about average, but my husband of course thinks it's a bit higher. Just wondering what you think....

Anyone???

I am pregnant with my fourth baby. With my first 3 kids I measured big the whole time. Usually 2-4 weeks further along then I was. My kids were all pretty big when they were born. With this pregnancy I am measuring 2 weeks behind though. I've gained the exact same amount of weight with this pregnancy as my other pregnancies, but none of my maternity clothes fit. They're all too loose. I thought your belly was supposed to get bigger every time?? Has anyone had this happen? I know the due date isn't off and I'm kind of starting to freak out that their is something wrong with my baby or that there isn't enough amniotic fluid or something???

Overweight and the WORD of WISDOM

I am curious as to what most LDS people think about the Word of Wisdom as it relates to your body weight.
We are taught in the church to eat healthy, to exercise, to take care of "our temple" (our body). If you were to have an addictive behavior such as a Drugs, it may or may not show on your outer body. But if you have an addiction to food, it is likely that it will show on your body. So when you see somebody that is overweight or obese, do you feel like they are following the Word of Wisdom.
Yes, I do realize that some people may have excess weight from health complications, but in general if you are overweight it means that you consume more calories than you expend and therefore are eating more than you should or exercising less than you should.

So is it breaking the work of wisdom if you are overweight. (this doesn't include postpartum women,etc.) ?

Birth Control Spotting - Probably for Women's Eyes Only ;)

I was on the NuvaRing for about a year and a half and I never had any spotting in between periods with it, but it recently started bugging me so I switched to Loestrin24 and I've been spotting. I'm just wondering if anyone else has ever spotted while on birth control. I know it's pretty common but did it eventually stop for you? I just don't want to stay on this kind if I'm going to spot every month.
PS I DO take my pills at the same time every morning, so missing pills or taking them later one day than the day before isn't the cause.

Static

I have moved recently to a new home that is no where near my last one. This place is much dryer than where I came from. The thing is, every time I touch anything, I get a very unpleasant shock. The little ones are fine but the big ones are actually quite painful. It's driving me crazy. Is there anything I can do? Would a humidifier or something like that help?

Why Breast Augmentation?

I'm just curious as to what drives so many women to have breast augmentation. I have a friend who was obsessed with it. She is thin, trendy, cute, popular, and seemed to have everything. Strangely, her husband begged and begged her not to go through with it whenever she brought it up. Finally, after so much, he caved in and she had it done.

My other friend was very similar. She is beautiful, successful, and when she asked her husband, he said, "you do what you want, but I really don't care." She had it done too. Both of these girls were on the smaller side, but they weren't about to be mistaken for men. They were stunning.

My question is, why? I always said that all the body image insecurity was about attracting your mate or something. My husband always laughs and says "Don't kid yourself, girls don't dress so that the guys see them, they dress for each other and themselves." I'm starting to see that it's true.

Here's another thing. Both of my friends are LDS. Now, I know the LDS church has no "official" policy or doctrine on cosmetic surgery. But anyone who heard Susan Tanner's (I heard her later say she was specifically asked to speak about it) and Elder Holland's talks in General Conference Oct 2005 knows the general sentiment. She said the following:

I am troubled by the practice of extreme makeovers. Happiness comes from
accepting the bodies we have been given as divine gifts and enhancing our
natural attributes, not from remaking our bodies after the image of the world.
The Lord wants us to be made over—but in His image, not in the image of the
world, by receiving His image in our countenances (see Alma 5:14,
19).

Elder Holland said:

And if adults are preoccupied with appearance—tucking and nipping and implanting
and remodeling everything that can be remodeled—those pressures and anxieties
will certainly seep through to children.

I'm not trying to say that those who do have the surgery are going to hell. I just think that in some cases, augmentation is the ultimate expression of insecurity and doing something so invasive in the name of insecurity isn't healthy, and tends to mask the insecurity instead of solve it.

That all being said, I sometimes really think I'd like to. I'm a woman, and therefore, insecure about my body. I've had 4 kids and my body isn't the same as it once was. I just bounce back and forth between all these thoughts and wonder what do other women think, why do they do it, and how do they justify it?

lunch/snack ideas for kids

I pack a lunch for my first grader everyday and I am wanting some new ideas from you all on what to put in his lunch that kids like but is healthy/fun. Please share any ideas you have.

50th Birthday

I am throwing a 50th Birthday party for my Mom and I need some fun ideas on things to do! Such as, decorations, funny presents, and some good food for the party! Has anyone thrown one before? Any good ideas?

Craddle Cap

So my little girl has what almost all babies get. Craddle cap. However, I am having a hard time getting it to go away. Any sugestions?

sick of the ex (sorry for the length)

So my husband's ex-girlfriend whom he dated before he met me, is INSANE. She harassed me and sent me horrible messages on facebook and myspace and whatnot. She emailed and text my husband (then boyfriend/fiance) and told him not to marry me and blah blah and he always told her to leave him alone and that he was very happy and all that lovely jazzy stuff.
Well, it's been 2 years...and she is still being a weirdo. I have a tracker on our blog and I KNOW she reads it at least once a day..she asks people about us all the time.
She has friends who still live here in my town, and they always drill me with 20 questions any time they see me. She still tells people that we know mutually that she and my husband were "so in love and so close to getting married when [I] stole him away from [her]" which is weird since I met him AFTER they had been broken up for like 3 weeks.
She still is in contact with his family, and since she is really emotionally and mentally unstable (really) they try to be nice to her but they can't seem to make her understand that my husband and I are VERY happily married and she needs to MOVE ON.
I have mentioned to my darling hubby that he needs to let her know whats up..but he says that she is so twisted that by him calling her or emailing her...she wins. Because what she wants is HIS attention and if he gives it to her...she wins. He has told her before and it just fuels her.. UGH. It's driving me nuts.

I almost want to call her myself.

Has anyone ever had to deal with insane exes?

Breast Augmentation questions

I have questions for those of you that have done this. I know, a doctor's consultation will answer these questions, but I want real opinions from people that have done this, not a doctor trying to sell a product. Saline, or silicone? and why? Any doctor referrals in Salt Lake City, Utah that people have really liked? Are you happy you did this? Any regrets or anything you would do different if you were to do it again?

clomid?

my husband and i have been trying to get pregnant for 2 years. i went to the dr and he put me on clomid... is this a good thing? for those of you that have been on it did it help?? what were some of the side effects?

MY TOWELS STINK!

Okay for like 8 months now (since we moved into our new apartment and share a washer and dryer with our neighbors - who, by the way, are very clean, sanitary people) I have been struggling with stinky towels! This seems so stupid, but I enjoy fresh smelling, fluffy towels when I get out of the shower or bath! For some reason, our towels have this really strange smell to them. I take them out of the washer IMMEDIATELY and put them into the dryer..and they still stink. They have no time to sour, I use fresh smelling detergent, and all of our clothes smell GREAT! It's just the towels. They have a weird musty-sour-dirt smell to them. And they are FRESHLY WASHED!! What the crap you guys?

Does fabric softener or dryer sheets make the difference?
Help!

Asking Someone To Prom

I need some fun creative ways my little brother can ask someone to Prom! Does anyone have any fun ideas?

Facebook vs. MySpace vs. neither

Lately I've been thinking about signing up for Facebook, which seems to be the new MySpace, but I'm wondering if it's worth it. I know the original reason for Facebook is so you can find old friends/stay in contact with friends, family, etc., but I pretty much stay in contact with the people I want to be in contact with as it is (you know, the old-fashioned way, in real life) and I'm not particularly interested in finding old friends (I figure there's a reason why we're not in contact anymore).
There's also a part of me that is nervous about putting my life so *out there*. It's not that I'm ashamed of anything I do, but it just seems so ... naked, I guess. Besides, my family isn't internet-savvy; I don't have kids, and being that I'm in my 30s, it also seems a little juvenile. (No offense to anyone who belongs, of course, I'm speaking only for me.)

So I'm asking all of you:
1) Do you belong to Facebook/MySpace?
2) If so, which one? Do you prefer one over the other?
3) If so, how do you like it? Is it worthwhile for you?
4) If not, why not? Do you feel like you're "missing out"?
5) Is it just something that teenagers and 20-somethings do, or are there other reasons to join besides "social networking" reasons?

Kinda gross....adult content!!

So I am just curious about wet dreams. Does your husband/boyfriend have wet dreams? Do women have wet dreams? If your husband/boyfriend does have wet dreams does that mean you are not satisfying him because he has to dream about it or is that just normal for men? Should I worry if my husband/boyfriend tells me that he has them and that he was dreaming about another woman? Sorry I know kinda gross but I am just curious.

Housekeeping...

How do you keep your house clean, and what tips and tricks can you offer???

Another Autism Question

I left this in the comments of the "Immunizations" post but I don't think anyone is looking at that anymore.
When a child is NOT immunized but is autistic is he lethargic, unresponsive, etc from birth or starting at about immunization age? Because I think if it's from birth then there definitely is a correlation between immunizations and autism (because I know 4 little kids who would talk your ear off before they got their shots and then were diagnosed with autism and don't talk anymore). But if those kids act completely normal until 18 months or so and then start showing signs of autism (without shots) then I think there might not be a correlation. I am just curious if anyone knows an answer to that. I hope that question made sense! I don't have kids yet but when I do I think I want them immunized but I still have a lot of questions about it.

tickle your heartstrings

What is your favorite Valentine's Song?

Suggestions Please

I am hosting my Bunko Party next month and am in need of some ideas. I want to "theme" the gifts, so I picked the kitchen. I have a few ideas, a Silpat, some new Spatulas and maybe a chopper, but I need some other ideas. So if you have any suggestions, please leave a comment. I would love to get a head start on shopping for them. Thanks!

Economy

what do you think about the economy? Do you think we will be where we are for a while? Do you think things will pick up? if so, when?

Do you read this blog?

How many people read this blog?? Please post a comment so we can count you!

BS Holiday?

Am I the only person out there who thinks Valentine's Day is a bs holiday? I mean in terms of what people expect of it - I know the historical lore (the Catholic priest who married couples in defiance of then-Church law; hence, St. Valentine) - I'm talking about the inundation of buy, buy, buy, to prove your love.

Here's my belief: You should treat those you love as if every day were "Valentine's Day" - it shouldn't take a day on the calendar for people to acknowledge those people who make their respective worlds a better place to be. I realize that practically speaking, it's not easy to do this, but I believe people should at least *try*.

Besides: cut flowers will die; chocolate and fancy dinners will - uh, digest; and jewelry - what's the point? Here's a rock that proves how much I'm loved? In that case, did anyone see the rock Kobe Bryant gave his wife after the rape/adultery scandal broke? I'm just saying...

For the record (b/c whenever I ask this, people question me) - I'm a woman who's been in a committed relationship for 11+ years. I just can't buy into this holiday!

Where's the Love?

So I am having some serious difficulty feeling the love lately. What I mean by that is love for my husband. Of course I love him and I know it, I just am having some trouble feeling it. I find myself on a daily basis becoming very irritated with him and snapping at him or getting easily offended by things he does or says. He was laid off of work for the winter and just graduated college, so we have been spending pretty much all day, every day, together. I was way ecstatic at first to be able to spend so much time with him, but now I am kind of just hoping he'll find a job (he has been job searching and applying a lot) so that we can have some time apart... So that we can actually miss each other.
We haven't even been married for two years yet and already we fight like crazy! Does anyone else struggle with the same thing??? What can we do to help us feel like newlyweds again?
Also I know there have been so many posts on low or no libido, and I am in the same boat there as well. I blame my birth control, but can't do anything about it for now, as we are not ready to have more children. Could this lack of sex drive be one of the factors that is seriously hindering our marriage relationship right now?

PLEASE HELP IF YOU HAVE A BACHELORS DEGREE IN COMMUNICATIONS

For those of you who have a bachelors degree in communications, or if your spouse has a bachelors degree in communications, what did you or your spouse do with that degree?
Did you or your spouse go on to grad school? If so, what did you do there?
If you or your spouse did not go to grad school, what did you do? Did you begin working?
What kind of work field did you or your spouse go into? Did you actually use your degree?

Who Initiates?

I am curious as to who usually initiates sex between you and your spouse and how they do it?

Hitting Problem

My son is approaching 2 and has a BIG problem with hitting other kids. I am really stressed out because he keeps on getting written up at his day care. If it happens one more time, he's suspended for 45 days. I don't know what to do! He's still too young to understand "stay in the corner" or "sit on the naughty chair." I'm just beside myself with frustration. I called his pediatrician and her advice was useless. I really need some advice on how to get this situation under control. ANY help would be much, MUCH appreciated.

Moms That Work

I am curious about why moms work. I am a stay at home mom and am very lucky/blessed to have a husband that makes a good living and feels the same way I do about a mom staying home to raise the children.

I have a friend that works part time - 3 days a week for half the day. She asked me to watch her daughter a couple days this week because her mom (who usually watches her daughter while she works) is out of town. I told her sure.

The morning of the first day I was supposed to watch her, she called to tell me that her daughter was sick. She had called work and they were slow that day so they really didn't need her to come in. So she stayed home with her sick daughter.

The morning of the second day I was supposed to watch the little girl, my friend called to tell me that she was still sick, but could I watch her anyway, because her work just couldn't spare her again. I didn't know what to say. I asked if she had any other options and she said no. I said, "I guess you can still bring her." What I felt like saying was, "Sure there's another option. Stay home from your job and take care of your kid anyway!" Eventually that is what she did. Turns out her daughter had strep throat.

Now, I would have been more understanding if I knew that this friend of mine NEEDED to work in order for them to survive. But they just bought a $325,000 house, both drive brand new cars (his is a little sports car), and just put $30,000 into finishing a theater room in their basement. Her part time job cannot be that detrimental to their survival.

My question, I guess, is why do moms work? I mean, besides the obvious (single, absolutely need the income to survive, husband finishing school, husband laid off, etc.). I know kids are expensive to take care of, but in my opinion, the most important things they need are love, a roof, and food. Are material things the reason you work? Who watches your kids while you are at work? What do you do when they're sick? Do you work because you feel that something important is missing from your life? Do you feel that SAHM are missing out on anything?

Photo editing or scrap booking software

Does anyone know of a good photo editing or scrap booking software that's free or under 100.00? I need to be able to make a couple wedding announcements. Thanks! (I just want to be able to print them at walmart as 4x6 or 5x7)

When To Be Done!

How do I know when I've had all the children I'm supposed to have? I guess this question would be directed toward the LDS folks. I know you are supposed to pray and go to the temple and such, but I think I'm so set in my mind that I won't see it any other way. Is it possible that I'm supposed to have more children and I'm too stubborn to get a real answer? Am I being selfish deciding for myself how many children I want and not relying on what the Lord has in store for me? I don't know what to do. I'm afraid I'll get the impression that I should have another child and I'll go against it, and then what, is that a sin?

Stalking Spouse

Have you ever followed or "checked up" on your husband (or wife) because you thought he might be cheating on you?

We Never Quit! A parenting question....

My 9 year old son is playing community basketball. His team is made up of boys in our neighborhood who are really good. My son is not. He came home tonight from practice and cried to me. {This is not normal at all for him!} He explained to me that he knows he is the worst on the team and feels like he doesn't want to play. I feel really torn. I don't want my kids to learn that quiting is okay. But, on the other hand, I really feel like this is affecting his self esteem, which he has never had a problem with. They only have about 4 more games, but could this ruin him? His coach is really into the whole team unity thing and quitters never win, etc, etc. Our son missed one practice for a previous commitment and we were attacked for it. I know it would not go over well with the coach if we decided to sit out the rest of the season. But, I truly am worried about my son! This is so out of character for him to be this down on himself. I know the coach is all over him at practice and I hear it at the games too. At times it is a little degrading, in my opinion for such young boys. My son could really learn a lot from this guy. He really is a good coach! What should I do?
Any parenting advice is appreciated!
Thanks in advance.

Female Erotica

So I am curious about female erotica literature. Previously, I never thought I'd be the kinda girl who would like that stuff, but lately I'm curious as to how I would respond. Here's some questions I have-

Is the only kind of female erotica those novels you see with sexy illustrations on the front of a muscly guy and a voluptuous woman?

Does anyone here read those kinds of books, or have in the past?

What does it do to you? Does it turn you on? Does it make you want to have sex? Does it make you want to masturbate?

Would you consider it female porn?

Whenever I think about this topic, I think about this episode of Friends. I LOVE Friends. So if you have the time, watch this clip. It's hilarious.

something other than sex...

What is a good thing to give my husband for Valentines Day, other than some great sex, which he will be getting anyway? :)

I need ideas FAST!

Hidden memories? (Long, and adult content)

Do any of you believe that a person could have been sexually abused or molested, but have forgotten about it?

Here's the thing: I've always had a hard time believing such a thing could be possible, even though I *know* that people who have experienced traumatic events can block those events out and/or find other ways of "forgetting" about it. It's as though intellectually, I recognize the possibility, but have a hard time accepting it could be true when I read about it (except for those extreme cases). Maybe it's because I'm old enough to (vaguely) remember the child-molestation witch-hunts of the '80s.

Anyway, I find myself wondering about this. I watch the show "Intervention" (on A&E) and I see many similarities between in the behavior of people who have suffered sexual abuse/molestation and me.

So here we go: this is probably going to be a long post, but I've never asked anyone this before. I think the anonymity of this site is why I feel OK about doing it here:

I was an outgoing child; very friendly, loved everyone on sight. No problems with strangers and loved to be in front of a crowd of people. Both my parents worked, and I went to a variety of day-cares and babysitters with no problems - except for one. I don't remember much about this place, except that it was run by an older couple on our street and after a few days there, I flat-out told my parents (I was 4) that I refused to go back there, and I wouldn't, no matter what. I don't remember any details about this place, but I could draw a picture of the husband who helped run the day-care. To this day (I'm in my early 30s), if I think about this, I can see his face clearly, and feel terrible/scared/"bad". My parents listened to me, and I think my father talked to the couple, but all they'd say is that I was "difficult" and maybe it was because of my being "mixed". (I'm of "mixed" ethnic parentage.)

After that, in terms of this topic, I had a number of inappropriate sexual experiences, as well as what I call "flirting" with eating disorders (both anorexia and bulimia, but I stopped on my own, without anyone knowing; just got tired of both).

Note: Previously, I had listed all those experiences here, but I woke up this morning and just felt *really* uncomfortable about telling people about all of those things, even though it's anonymous here. I thought I'd edit the post to not be so specific, and focus on the original question about memories.

I can accept that people who have been through bona fide abuse, or extremely difficult situations, can have blocked memories... I just can't believe that *I* could do that, or that *I* could have gone through such an event. I mean, I was for the most part, a happy, overachieving kid - albeit with body issues, still to this day - and I'm for the most part, a happy, successful adult today... but could there be something else to this, or am I making more of a forgettable incident than there was?

*Just an FYI, I'm not religious and therefore don't assign any religious values or punishments to my experiences.

I have one kid, and she's into everything....

She's almost 9 months old and crawling all over the place. She wants constant attention every 5 minutes. It's not BAD attention. She's VERY intelligent, so that's why she moves on quickly... she wants things to stimulate her. She always wants to be doing something with me, but I HAVE to clean the house every ONCE in a while or my husband is going to divorce me (just teasing, but you get the idea!) She's tearing apart the house and I need a chance to clean it. Does anyone have a toy that REALLY entertains a kid? (what does it do, and where can I get it???)

Blog question

How do people get cute text on the sidebar of their blogs? I've seen a lot of different things on sidebars and I can't figure out how to do it. I know about "adding a gadget" or whatever it's called, and I see how to add 'text' to the sidebar, but it won't let me change the font or size?

Any tips on sprucing up my blog would be SO appreciated! Without having to pay someone ;o)

Songs to rock to

What are some songs you like that just make you wanna rock out, or make you feel pumped or empowered?

I just downloaded "So What" by Pink, I just love it. Any other suggestions?

Confronting a loved one

How do you confront a loved one who is bulimic? This person thinks no one knows about their "secret" but EVERYBODY knows,Even random people know. It is SO OBVIOUS

Should I confront this person?
What do I say?
If you are/were bulimic how would you react to someone talking to you about your "secret?"Would it make you mad, would you feel grateful, would you deny it and tell them it isn't their business?

Baby name

How do you feel about the baby name Crue for a boy? I want unbiased opinions, what you think of, etc...

Is there another spelling you like better? Cru or Crew or another?

Immunizations

How do you feel about immunizations? I have heard so many different stories, and the ones that scare me are about immunizations causing autism and other defects in healthy children. Does anyone have any advice or experience with this? I'm a new mom and kind of scared, but I don't know if there is any reason to be.

I never thought it would happen to me

When I read this blog, and posts come up from a hurt wife whose husband has been looking at porn... I would think to myself "I am so glad my husband and I do not have this problem". But last night that changed. I found out that my husband has been looking at pornography behind my back, and lied about it several times. He said he's only done it less than 10 times within the last year. But with all the lying that has been going on about this, I just cannot believe that.

FYI- we are not Mormon. We are ex-Mormon. But I thought we had a mutual understanding that masturbation and pornography without the others' presence was not OK.

I feel angry, hurt, sad, depressed, betrayed, and then I feel stupid. I feel stupid for feeling betrayed. So many people outside Mormonism say that masturbation and pornography are OK. I have never agreed with this though. Actually, I don't mind masturbation. I wouldn't mind if he masturbated if I wasn't "available" and he thought of me. But I feel so angry and disgusted that he masturbated to pornography. Men will say that looking at pornography doesn't mean anything. It's just a release. My husband said he never thought the women in the porn were better looking. Just that he needed to release, and he couldn't masturbate without visual stimulation.

He told me the site he went to, it's a site where you can see free porn. I went to it this morning, and I was filled with rage- seeing what he had watched and "gotten off" to.

My husband is just so sweet, so loving... I love him so much. I just feel so torn today. I feel bad that I'm acting like this. I'm not trying to put on a show to get sympathy. I just feel this way.... My husband tries to console me, I want to feel close to him, but when he hugs me I just can't get the images out of my mind of what he has done to me... to our marriage.

Nudy pics

Is posting pictures of your naked children on your blogs inappropriate? I checked out one of my friends blogs just now, and there is a picture of her 3 or 4 year old son completely naked, running around on the beach. You can totally see his thingy. I can understand if it's your teeny weeny baby... still a little weird, but I think after a certain age it gets a little inappropriate. Not like I would say anything though. I just saw it and was like "whoa! I would never do that!"

Freecycle

I was wondering if anyone here has used freecycle, and if you like it? Is it worth it to join a freecycle group?

Nadya Suleman

I want to know what everybody thinks about Nadya Suleman and her **14** CHILDREN - all conceived by in vitro fertilization from the same father. If you haven't heard about this SINGLE mother who gave birth to octuplets this week, click here!

Do you think she is selfish?
Do you think she is simply OBSESSED with having children?
Has she crossed the line?
Do you feel you would ever use in vitro?

What are your thoughts?

*IF YOU DON'T KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT NADYA AND HER SITUATION, READ THE STORY FROM THE LINK I PROVIDED BEFORE YOU ANSWER*

Friends outside of church?

I've heard of several ladies who have left the church (LDS) lately and most say that many, if not all, of the people they used to know and thought were their friends now no longer speak to them. I'm wondering if there is a support group for those ladies/mommies available? If you have been through this, was it easy to make new friends? Did you experience anything similar when you left? Is there a group available in SLC for moms to support each other? What they are going through seems very tough. I can't imagine losing all of my friends over a religion.

What Should I Give?

My 1 year blogoversary is coming up soon for my food blog, and I want to do a giveaway. But I've never done a blog giveaway before, and am not really sure what to give away! I want to do something food related and inexpensive, because my blog is about eating frugally. Any ideas?

College?

From reading a lot of the posts on this blog, I see that the majority of you are female with husbands either in grad school or who have finished grad school. I'm curious if any of you:
1) Graduated from college
2) Have plans to go to grad school
3) If yes to either of the above, what was/is your degree in?
4) How did you and your DH decide that he would continue with his education, while you would either support him or become a SAHM?
5) Did or do you feel any resentment that DH is continuing his education while you are not?

I'm just curious, because I don't know anyone in a situation like that. I have a bachelor's while my DH has a GED (not for lack of intelligence; his father moved around constantly while DH was in high school and couldn't transfer credits); and with nearly all our friends, both partners have bachelor's degrees... but if there is an educational difference amongst our group, it's the woman who has more education than the man.

Biggest Secret?

What is the biggest secret anyone has ever told you?  Not your secret, but theirs, or someone elses?

Flashback

Nsync? Or Backstreet Boys?

bothered

After reading through some posts and reading every one's comments it really bothers me when someone has to point out when another has misspelled a word. Not everyone can spell that well, so why do people make such a big deal over it. (its not your problem anyway) For example, the one post where they had to show us all how to spell the word WEIRD, who cares?!?! It's not like we are in school. This blog is for those to come vent, ask questions, give/receive advice. We aren't here to get harrassed just because we don't spell one word right. Its really frustrating to me because its hurts people's feelings. They dont come to this site to get harrassed. Some of us weren't raised like you, or had the opportunity to get the education some of you have.
Does it make you feel cool/tough to point out some one else's faults?
And yeah, I know there is spell check (thank goodness for that) but sometimes I forget or dont have time, I sometimes dont worry about it because I dont think it is that big of deal on here.
So, next time think twice before you critisize someone for little things.

What should I do? Please help...

I live in a small little duplex and I am renting. I just found out that next door to me the ceiling caved in because of mold. There is black mold that goes up the entire wall and to the ceiling. It is literally just a wall between us and I am scared that it is now harming my health. We just found out because the person next to us just moved out so obviously we have been exposed to this for a while. I have heard that it is really bad to be breathing it that close. At the same time it is going to be very hard for us to find a place to move with in the next week or two. I am sure I need to get out of here as soon as possible but don't have the means to right now. What rights do I have now with the landlord? My rent is due tomorrow. Do I have to pay rent to him when I am being harmed because of his neglect to take care of the problem? If I do pay him for the month then have to move with in a week or so I won't get that money back. What options do I have here? Has anyone had this problem before? Thanks so much!!!

Contractions

I know you are supposed to go to the hospital when your contractions are 5 minutes apart for an hour. My question is do contractions normally gradually make it to 5 minutes apart (like start at half an hour, move to 20 min etc) or can they just hit you all of a sudden already being 5 min apart?

Pets

So who has pets? What kind of pet(s) do you have? Do you consider your pet a part of the family?

High School 20th Reunion

I'm trying to establish a baseline for what a 20th High School reunion is supposed to be like. What is more preferred? $100 a head and you get a dream prom type of thing, or a $20 a head social with light refreshments in the high school gym? I am involved in the planning of the reunion and am needing input from random people.

Bread Recipe

Does anyone have any good bread recipes that don't call for kneading? I have sensitive wrists that hurt when I try to knead bread, but I love homemade bread!

Am I the only one?

Has anyone else started struggling with their faith? (I'm LDS.)

I've been having a really hard time reconciling what I'm finding with what I know, and it's very scary to me. :(

I'm terrified of telling my DH and family. I think I'll just pretend I never read about the discrepancies and go on assuming I'm a good, faithful member of the LDS Church.

Am I alone? Tell me this isn't just me. What would you do if your hubby or wife came to you and said she was no longer believing in the church?

How Could I have been So Naive Or Is Stupid the right word?

I have to admit I got caught up in all the hype and voted for Obama. I knew he had no executive experience and that he was of questionable character and I still voted for him. I feel so guilty. I actually thought he meant what he said during his campaign. It has been all of two weeks and I am so embarrassed that I fell for the smooth talking. In just two weeks time he has managed to force me to spend my tax dollars to pay for abortions which I oppose. He reinstated the ban on off shore drilling (oil went up $5.00 a barrel the same day), said he was closing Guantanamo Bay with no plans of where to put the most dangerous terrorist in the world (I don't want them in my state). He promised no lobbyist in his administration and he has appointed several. He also nominated three (as of today) tax cheats to be in his administration. He is also calling this massive spending bill a stimulus bill. It is so full of pork and waste. I like a lot of Americans thought it would be awesome to elect our first African American President. I see now what a stupid reason that is to vote for some one. What I thought was a plus for him is starting to annoy me. I am sick of hearing about him being the first African American President. It's almost like he gets a pass because of that. Isn't he half white? Or am I mistaken about that? So many of you made your argument right here on this very blog about why Obama would not be good for this country. I wish I would have listened to you. Any way I was just wondering if there are anymore of you out there that are feeling regrets like I am?

Showing

When did you start showing (or at least feeling "thicker") when you were pregnant with your first?

I am almost ten weeks and I cannot button ANY of my pants and some I can't hardly zip. I have noticed a slight roundness around my belly. EVERYONE tells me there is NO WAY I could see a difference this early on. Am I just getting fat? Or is it the baby? Has anyone had this experience the first time you were pregnant?

Name for a Business

My friends and I are starting a new massage therapy business. We need a name desperately! We have come up with a few good ones, but nothing really stands out. Do you have any ideas?
The goal is to have a relaxed name.... such as Serenity or Tranquil (obviously not those ones) PLEASE HELP!!!

Man arms?

For those of you who watch Live with Regis and Kelly... does anyone else look at Kelly when she wears a sleeveless shirt and think her arms look a little manly? Don't get me wrong, she's in great shape and looks awesome. But, with her frame, and lack of a chest, sometimes I look at her and think "If someone replaced that head with a mans head, it would look like a man". It especially looks like that when she wears sleeveless shirts. Seriously! This girl has some big guns!

And don't anyone start with... "Don't you have anything better to do than talk about Kelly Ripa's arms?" I'm watching Kelly Ripa's arms while burning 600 calories on the eliptical. I watch Regis and Kelly on the TV while doing so... I have nothing else to think about! So don't even go there.

SECRETS, SECRETS!!

I am preggo.....but NOBODY KNOWS!! I am almost 3 months. Does anyone have any FUN IDEAS for telling my family and friends that I have a bun in the oven. I would love to hear how you told everyone! P.S.-- Yes my husband knows!

Wii Fit?

I am looking into purchasing the Wii Fit, to help me workout and lose weight. I was wondering if anyone has had success in losing weight with it or if it is even worth it using it to lose weight. If you have it what do you like about using it and what do you dislike about using Wii Fit.

Workaholic

My husband is a workaholic, which is great in some ways because he's very dedicated to his job and succeeding. The problem is that I don't know where I fit into his life anymore. He always stays later at work than he says he will, and then seems so stressed about work when he gets home. He works a 9-5 job, but works more like 8-7 and goes in most Saturdays too. I don't feel like I ever really get to have him to myself. We have kids, and we date every weekend. Our date conversations always seem to turn to his work issues, and I try to be patient but end up feeling sad. I feel like work means more to him than our family. I feel like he thinks my stories about the kids and my life are boring to him (I stay home). I thought maybe someone who is working could give me some perspective and help me see where he's coming from.

Please help me forgive

My husband cheated on me 4 months ago (I wrote about it many months ago in the "Affair to Remember" post). We've been in therapy ever since, and my husband is remorseful and trying to make it up to me. He had been flirting with a coworker (that I know, that is gorgeous) for months, and then they became physical for the last month. He never took it as far as sex, and came home and told me one day right after he had been making out with her in her office and knew he needed to end things. He still works with her everyday, but he's told her they have a "work only relationship." He's made some good strides over the months, but now we're out of the "honeymoon" period, and life has hit again. I'm still hurting so badly. It's not like it was right after I found out, when I was barely functioning, but the pain is still so intense and I don't know how to trust him again. I've never been in a situation like this, and I'm realizing that forgiving others is much harder than I thought. I'm an active member of the LDS church and firmly believe in Jesus Christ and the atonement. I just don't know how to allow it to work in my life right now. I've done a very thorough reading of the scriptures, I pray fervently (and have definitely felt God's love and comfort more than I ever have), I attend therapy . . .what else should I be doing to overcome this? Do I just need to be patient and realize I'm going to still hurt for a while? I feel like I've come to a point where I can forgive my husband for his past mistakes, but I still have no trust in him. But I can not for the life of me start to forgive the girl involved. I wrote her a long email a few months ago and told her how much she hurt me. I told her that I have always been dedicated to the success of my marriage, and that it angers me that she tried to mess with that. I've had to see her many times since then at work events. My husband makes a good living (over $100k) and works at a great place, so I don't feel like he can quit. But sending him to work everyday to see her is killing me. Especially because I'm a SAHM to 4 kids and don't exactly always look glamorous, although I really try to get myself done up most days. My self esteem has been shattered and I don't know how to feel good about myself again. I compare myself to every woman in every room. I so desperately want to get over this and move on, because I have hope again that my future with my husband can be wonderful. I just don't know how to get there. I feel like a broken person. Someone please help. I hurt so badly.

Ways to save on bills each month

Ok so after the whole discussion on student families using gov't assistance I got to thinking, all of you who got through school with out the assistance must have some really great tips to share. Really I just want some help with cutting our monthy bills. My husband is in grad school in a relatively expensive location so I'm trying to do my part for my family aside from being a mom but doing what I can to save us money.

I need all the tips on grocery shopping/couponing ( I want in depth details since I have no clue what I am doing and I feel really overwhelemd with trying to figure it out myself). also what cell phone plans do you use that are cheap since this is our only phone we use. We dont have cable but have internet. We never go out to eat and if we do anthing besides free activities we get a redbox so I dont feel like we over spend on fun things. I just know we could save on the nessesities.

Looking For Houses

My husband and I have been looking for houses for a good 6-7 months. The market is still down, but it is starting to pick back up. We have put in so many offers on houses but are getting rejected on all of them. There is always someone else that puts in a better offer. It seems like all the houses that we want are getting taken quickly. Is there any advice from anyone about putting in better offers or advice on what we need to do to get a house we offer on?

Getting through to your husband

How do you get through to your husband when you are in a disagreement? Or so he will see your side? Lately my husband has been really stubborn when we have been argueing and he only see's his side, making me look/feel stupid. He wont take into consideration my feelings, only his. He never used to be like this and I am not sure what is going on. I don't fight or aruge just for the sake of it, there are always good reasons for our arguments but he still just puts his foot down and it's his way and I eventually just have to come to terms or forget about it, which leaves my feelings still hurt and ignored. Any suggestions?

Sex Drive

Or in my case, the lack thereof...

Why am I not horny? I've been married about 3 years, we have a little one that's about 10 months old. Before I had my baby sex was more apparent in our relationship but now its not. Part of me thinks it's sheer exhaustion (I work full time and own a business that requires me to be there 6 hours a week). My baby doesn't sleep through the night so many times I'm up 5-6 times a night. And I generally get up very early in the morning to start work. When I'm not working or playing with my baby, I am trying to keep up with the house work, which is FAR from ever being caught up because I'm so busy. So when 9-10 rolls around and my husband is horny, I'm not. I'm far from it, and would choose sleep over sex any day. That's 1 problem. The second is : shouldn't I at least be craving sex or be horny? I'm not horny at all and don't find myself thinking about sex (like I once did). Is there some kind of medicine or supplement I can take or something I can do to get this straightened out??

Where is it? Newly married. Haven't had an "o". Where is my clitoris? Please don't laugh. Help!!!

Celebrity Fat Club

So the debate wages one with me and my girlfriends. Is Jessica Simpson fat? Its obvious that she's gained weight, but is it fair to criticize her for it?

BEFORE AND AFTER

I'll give my opinion later, but wanted to see what you all thought...
CA Girl

Tardy Mother

My mother is ALWAYS late, and I mean ALWAYS. It is so bad that my SIL will tell her 1/2 to an hour earlier than she really wants her to be there in the hopes that she makes it somewhere close to on time. It's becoming quite a pain.

My question is, should I say something to her? She is easily offended and I don't want to say something that would hurt her. I also don't want to tell her to show up before I tell others to show up because she seems to always find out and that hurts her feelings too. She's a bit sensitive. I don't know how to talk to her. As I'm writing this, I am looking at the clock and she is nearly 2 hours later than I was expecting her and she still isn't here. What do I do?

I really just need to vent.

Sorry, but I've got all these emotions in me right now and I need to vent. I can't do it to anyone in my family though, because they all have enough on their plate and I don't want them worrying about me right now too.

I was sexually abused as a child. Every time I see a billboard that says, "One in four women is sexually abused by age 18" I think to myself, "I'm a statistic." It's been mostly ok in my life. I blocked it out for most of my life, until the first time I went to the temple, age 12. During the interview, I remembered and mentioned it to my bishop, who assured me that I had no guilt in it and urged me to look to the Lord in help healing. I didn't think much about it after that until one summer when I ran into a guy my friend dated in high school. I was 21 this summer. He had just been released from prison, to which he went for child molestation. We were at a social outing and he kept trying to talk to me. I really did not want to talk to him. That night, as I drove home with my boyfriend, I couldn't hold back the tears. I told him what was wrong. He was the second person who knew. A year and half later, I was engaged to my husband. I started having panic attacks when we'd make out. We went to couple's counseling for it. I was really nervous for sex and how I'd react to it (with the way I was reacting to only making out). Wedding night came and went, and while there was a minor bump, no big deal. The first months were ok. I was mostly free from my panic attacks. The fall after getting married (we were married in the spring) they started coming back sometimes during sex. We endured through this batch for a few months, then they subsided. Now, over a year later, they've been getting worse. We've just moved to a new area completely away from friends and family. Making friends has been somewhat difficult. My husband has had to work long hours so I'm alone a lot. Hence, I'm already under some emotional stress. Now, though, my panic attacks are getting worse and worse. Even when sex starts out great, as soon as it starts to feel really good, my body shuts down and I start panicking. My pulse begins to race, my breathing quickens, I feel very, very afraid. I have all of this tension--I clench my teeth, squeeze my eyes shut, and curl my hands into fists. I fight back the tears and screams of fear. Sometimes I'm successful, sometimes not. Sometimes I succeed long enough till my husband orgasms, and it's cuddle time and I then begin to bawl my eyes out and hyperventilate. My husband is amazing. He holds me and kisses my forehead and helps calm me down. Usually the panic subsides in ten to twenty minutes. Last night was different though. I had to keep the panic at bay all night. Then at church today, when I again had to sit by myself during Relief Society (I was the first to sit, so obviously initially sat by myself, hoping someone would come sit next to me--no luck. The sisters in my RS are wonderful and nice, just not very outgoing.). I felt my pulse quicken. I waited to ask the other RS teacher if she would switch lessons with my next week. She kept her conversation going behind me and I felt myself wanting to cry.
Our lesson was on Finding Joy. Boy, did I need it. But I didn't just need to hear that men are that they might have joy or that life is better when we're happier, rather I needed to hear that sometimes you can't just wait out the hard times on your own. With the past times, I generally just kept my head down and pushed on and on until I made it out to the other side. Our teacher said sometimes we need professional help, counseling. I'd already figured I did, but I was hesitant to go. I don't think counseling is taboo--I have a sister who is Bi Polar and I know how much therapy has blessed her life--but I just thought that my problem was not serious, one that I could solve on my own. Like therapy would be overkill in this situation. I have a tendency to underestimate/understate my trials. I finally realized today that this situation is deserving of therapy.
Even as I'm sitting here, after a few friends have left now that the Super Bowl is over, I feel fragile. I feel the panic just around the corner, waiting for its chance to pounce. I want to curl up and cry for hours. I don't know why. I have an amazing husband. We both have jobs. We're in the market for a home of our own. I'm healthy. I just made the best brownies I've ever had in my life. But I feel vulnerable, fragile, and scared. As soon as I straighten my bedroom I'm going to read The Ensign, pray to the Lord, and try to fall asleep, consciously keeping my breathing regular and my thoughts calm.

Perplexed

My SIL (brother's wife) lives substantially far away from me. And at every holiday (Christmas, birthday, etc) she always emails me saying that she already bought me or someone else in the family a present for the specific holiday, but that she has to get around to mailing it and that sh'es going to mail it "tomorrow". She always does this AFTER the holiday. Now, seriously, I'm not waiting around by the door for this present, or thinking on that specific holiday "HEY! Where's my present from my SIL?". I seriously dont' care if she sends a present. Presents aren't important to me.

But, I have noticed that for the last couple years, for ALL of these holidays, I never ever get the present she says she's gonna send. It never comes. I'm really puzzled. Why does she tell me she's already bought us a present (after the holiday) and that she is going to send it, but never does? I don't expect to receive anything anymore. But if she's telling the truth, she's gotta have about 10 presents lying around her house for me and my family that she just hasn't sent.... It's weird to me.

Trouble accepting Monson as the prophet

I am a convert to the LDS church. The year I was baptized was the first year Pres. Hinckley was the prophet. He is the only prophet I have ever known. Over the years I really grew to love and admire this man. I truly sustained him as a prophet of God and leader of the church. I felt confident and secure in my faith under his direction.

I had a really hard time when he died. I don't know how I grew so attached to a person I'd never even met. When Monson was called, I sustained him BUT since he's been the President, I'm not so sure anymore. I feel my testimony getting weaker and weaker. I especially did not approve of what he did by having that letter read in sacrament meetings in CA encouraging members to do all they could in opposition of gay marriage. I think he's brought a lot of negative attention to the church and I feel like Hinkley would have never done that.

Anyway, has anyone had trouble transitioning from one prophet to the next? What did you do about it?