Comments on Ask Anything: Wedding Night

LUBRICANT for the first time, then you may or may ...

2010-01-07T22:01:24.460-07:00

LUBRICANT for the first time, then you may or may not use it in the future. And definitely get stretched out if you can.

It was suggested to me to go to a public place so you're not tempted to do the stuff you're talking about, and have a chat with your fiance about what you want/expect.

I still think it would be odd not have sex on your...

2010-01-06T19:25:48.175-07:00

I still think it would be odd not have sex on your wedding night. The other stuff is all fine and dandy, but I just can't see 'not being ready' for it. GET READY!!

When we got to our hotel on our wedding night, I w...

2010-01-06T18:28:10.828-07:00

When we got to our hotel on our wedding night, I went into the bathroom, took OFF the garments, and put on my sexy stuff. Then I made my grand entrance so he could see me all sexy for him. You are supposed to take off the garments to be intimate with your spouse.

Thanks for all your comments! Most helpful! So my ...

2010-01-06T14:19:50.270-07:00

Thanks for all your comments! Most helpful! So my fiance asked me yesterday about the whole lingerie thing. I know it doesn't matter cuz it ends up on the floor but how do I manage that with garments. Do I put it on before we leave the reception? Or make him wait while I change? Etc

I think they meant that you don't have to have int...

2010-01-06T12:52:58.189-07:00

I think they meant that you don't have to have intercourse on your first night. This is the first time they are even exploring each others body's/heavy petting and making out. Sometimes it might be too much too fast. You could try other ways of pleasing each other and have fun. Just don't feel so much pressure to have the actual intercourse part if it's too painful.

Chiming in with the guys perspective, sorry, but '...

2010-01-05T21:36:15.564-07:00

Chiming in with the guys perspective, sorry, but 'Ask Anything' also means, 'anyone can reply'.

I agree with almost everything that has been posted except the person who said if you don't feel ready you don't have to do it on your wedding night.

WTFetch?

Sorry, but if you are not ready for sex on your wedding night, you are not ready to be married.

Lots of good advice has been given. I hope your wedding and wedding night is great! Congratulations!

I would really suggest buying the book - The Act o...

2010-01-05T16:51:24.053-07:00

I would really suggest buying the book - The Act of Marriage. (you can probably find it for cheep on amazon). My husband and I read that before we got married and helped a lot to explain sex from a woman's and a man's perspective (The book is written by a Christian couple).
From a girl's point of view, make sure your future husband knows how to make sex good for YOU -- guys have an orgasm every time, but for girls, it takes some more work. That's something that helped us both enjoy sex on our wedding night.
Hope that helps!

Perhaps I wasn't clear enough. I didn't mean to s...

2010-01-05T13:03:39.034-07:00

Perhaps I wasn't clear enough. I didn't mean to say that it won't hurt at all. I meant to say that it doesn't have to hurt as badly.

If he just tries to force his penis in to "pop the cherry," then yeah, it will hurt a lot. The thing is, there's no need and no point in doing that. If instead, he only inserts the penis as far as doesn't hurt you, then your vaginal muscles will gradually stretch and eventually accommodate him.

Ditto to what everyone else has said, except Benja...

2010-01-05T11:12:00.984-07:00

Ditto to what everyone else has said, except Benjamin (sorry!). I think it's very normal for it to hurt at first. And for me it took a lot longer than 2 or 3 days for me to stretch out enough to have normal sex. But my husband was really cool about it, and we just did other stuff in the meantime. I would definitely prepare your husband for that possibility, just so he's not too disappointed if things don't go exactly how HE always envisioned it. P.S. My word verification is ciong, but the c & i are super close together so I thought it said dong.

Always go pee! I didn't know that when I got marri...

2010-01-05T10:45:58.706-07:00

Always go pee! I didn't know that when I got married and I immediately got a UTI, but I haven't had on since.
Also about the seamen coming out, I just grab a tissue so it doesn't drip and go to the bathroom, it will usually all "fall" out while I'm peeing.
My first time didn't hurt but I bled a little bit so maybe don't do it on your nice comforter or something.
Also, like others have said, it might not feel that great for the first few times, especially if you are both virgins, so just take it slow and don't set you expectations too high. That said even if you don't climax or something, your first time will still be great because it's your first and it's with someone you love.

Beware the myth of "breaking the hymen." Sexual...

2010-01-05T08:15:10.218-07:00

Beware the myth of "breaking the hymen."

Sexual activity shouldn't hurt (unless you're into that sort of thing). The key thing to remember is along the lines of what 12:09 said, your vaginal muscles have to be stretched. Kind of like before working out.

It might take two or three days before they stretch enough for you to accommodate him, but there's nothing wrong with that.

You don't have to have sex on your wedding night. ...

2010-01-05T07:51:38.630-07:00

You don't have to have sex on your wedding night. If it takes you a day or two or a week to build up to it -- either physically or emotionally, that's perfectly fine.

The first person hit the nail right on the head. ...

2010-01-05T05:59:50.417-07:00

The first person hit the nail right on the head. Lube, foreplay, take it slow and easy, TALK during if you need to, and don't EXPECT it to be perfect. It takes practice.

I would definitely recommend going to an OBGYN (if...

2010-01-05T00:09:36.795-07:00

I would definitely recommend going to an OBGYN (if you haven't already), because he/she can give you a lot of the basics. A lot of Gynos also will bring your fiance in (obviously not during the exam) which can be helpful. Many doctors can even give you a dilator to help you stretch the muscles down there and get you used to something "going in". My sister and my sister in law have done this and it helped them tremendously!

My #1 advice is to have a lubricant like Astroglide or KY on your wedding night. And use LOTS of it. Take things slow, and make sure your husband knows to be gentle. LOTS of foreplay is a MUST!

As for what to talk about beforehand, definitely talk about your plans for birth control. Also make sure your expectations aren't too high. Good sex usually takes several months of practice.

Just remember that this is something you can work on TOGETHER and it doesn't have to be perfect from the get go. A good sense of humor and patience will help a lot. The most important thing is that you love each other and you are working on it together.

Good luck with your marriage, and enjoy it!